Wood Family Christmas Dinner 2010

This past weekend marked our annual Wood Family Christmas Dinner.  This particular shindig is for my dad's family and is always so very enjoyable.  I look forward to seeing my family so much, and truly this "event" is among my favorite of the entire year.  The problem for me this year was, however, that I've been in a horrible fibro-flare for the biggest part of two months now and wasn't sure till two hours before time to meet that I'd be able to go.  From pain to fatigue to insomnia to fibro-fog, I had every reason to stay home.  

But - this year we have a new addition that I hadn't yet met.  Her name is Ridley and she is the darling new daughter of my cousin, Yvonne's daughter, Lauren and her husband, Phil, who I rarely get to see due to the distance that separates us.  I followed Lauren's blog for months, I anxiously awaited ultrasound pictures to be posted, I cried the happiest of tears while texting with my cousin, Tammi (Lauren's aunt) through Lauren's labor and shouted "Thank you, God!!!" when the text finally came that Ridley was born - healthy and perfect.  The bond I feel with this baby is unusual in that Lauren is much younger than me, and we live at opposite ends of the state, so it's not like we grew up together or have ever been super-close (like I am with some of my other cousins who are closer to my age), etc.  But for some reason, who knows what, from the moment I learned of her pregnancy, I've developed a huge love for Lauren's baby.  (I had an overwhelming love and closeness with another cousin's baby in utero, who sadly didn't survive, but his mommy lives close to me and we're very close, so that one made perfect sense to me.) 

So on Saturday morning, I had resolved in my heart that I simply could not attend, and kept trying (and failing) to be at peace with this decision, knowing I was perfectly within my rightful limits to stay home and rest.  However, the pictures I'd seen of Ridley kept flashing through my mind, and my heart strongly yearned to meet this little bundle of joy to the point I was in tears thinking of not holding her and smelling her sweet baby-ness.  So I hoisted (yes, it truly feels like hoisting some days) myself off the couch, out from under my snuggly blankets, and forced my body to GO.  

Words simply cannot express how much JOY it gave me to see her, to see her smile and feel her soft hair on my lips and to hold her and cuddle with her.  She's amazing.  Her mommy and daddy are amazing, and so tender with her and each other.  Meeting Ridley has been the best experience of my entire year.  

Lest you think I've lost my marbles, here's proof of the absolute joy that filled my heart when I held this little miracle:

When I attempted to share with Lauren that I love *her* even more now that she's a mother, I stumbled over my words - I couldn't explain what I was feeling (yes, there's that fibro-fog running rampant again).  Seeing her as Ridley's mommy increased my love for Lauren in ways I'd never imagined.  

Perhaps it's the miles between us that caused me to reflect on my heart-feelings in this way.  With those who are close to me physically, I'm with them.  I see them regularly.  When they have new babies, I meet them and hold them.  But with Lauren and Ridley, I had time to think more because I couldn't "act".  I fell in love with Ridley via text messages, facebook and blog postings.  So holding her was a highly anticipated joy, but I hadn't even considered how beautiful it would be seeing her in Lauren's arms.  My heart wasn't prepared for the surplus of emotion that overflowed in seeing Lauren as a mom.  I hope she understood what I was trying to say.  And if she didn't, I hope one day she has the same beautiful experience so she will understand and feel the surge of love that I felt for her and Ridley in those moments.

Me, Lauren & Ridley <3

Ridley with her awesome Daddy, Phil..

My sweet girl, Sydney, with Lauren & Ridley

More of my precious girls - these I see more often and have always loved like my own children ~   Jessica (Sydney's incredible & wonderful mom), who is holding her niece, Katelyn, and Tabetha (Katelyn's awesome mommy), who is expecting #2 ~ a baby boy <3

Katelyn (Tabetha's darling) and her daddy, Seth

There are no words to adequately describe how I savored and cherished each moment I spent with my family.  They are my treasures, my blessings, my heart.  Many of them were unable to attend this year due to sickness, finances, work, etc., and I always miss their presence with great sadness when we can't all be together.  But young or old, near or far ~ my family is the best and I treasure each and every one of them with my whole heart!!!!  Thank You, God, for giving me the most amazing family ever!!!!! 

Dear Lord, thank You for each member of my family, thank You for the new babies and for the older generations, thank You for the love we share and for what each of them means to me.  Thank You for giving me the strength to enjoy this time with them, and the JOY that comes with each new baby with which we're blessed.  Thank You most of all for YOUR son, Jesus, whose birth we celebrate this Christmas season.  Help me to always have the JOY in my heart that comes in knowing Him, the joy that is unbelievably even greater than that of the precious little ones I can hold.  Please help me to always remember to give You the praise, the honor and the glory for every blessing in my life.  In Jesus' name I pray, amen.

Mahjong

I play Mahjong.  A lot.  I have it on my desktop computer, I have it on my laptop and I have it on my Blackberry.  I think it would be safe to say I love playing Mahjong (solitaire). 

If you're familiar with the game, you know there are many layers.  The tiles are stacked and positioned so that many of them are hidden and you have no way of knowing what tiles are where until you've uncovered them through the game play.

As I was lying in bed playing Mahjong on my BB the other night, it occurred to me that the game is much like life:  you don't know what's coming until you get to it.  We can make guesses, some educated, others by instinct - but we truly don't know what lies ahead until the future becomes the present.

The significance between Mahjong and Life, though, is that GOD knows what's coming.  He knows what each move or decision we make will result in.  If I click on that tile, there might be another match underneath that would allow me to continue playing.  Or maybe there will be a tile that has no match uncovered which will result in my needing to shuffle the tiles or possibly even end the game.  

Such is life.  If we're at a crossroads wondering which way to go, which decision will result in GOOD, what God wants for us, His BEST, how do we know what path to take?  It's simple, really.  We ask Him and we listen for His answer.  And then we need to choose the direction in which He is leading us.  Why?  Because He alone knows what lies ahead.  He knows if we choose to go opposite of the way He is leading, we'll end up suffering the consequences.  He knows if we choose to follow His leading, we'll reap the rewards.  

He alone knows what lies ahead.  We don't know.  Just like with the Mahjong tiles, we can guess... but we do not know until we get there what is waiting for us.

I'm reminded of the song, "I Know Who Holds Tomorrow."  

"I don't know about tomorrow, I just live from day to day.

I don't borrow from its sunshine, for its skies may turn to gray.

I don't worry about the future, for I know what Jesus said.

And today I walk beside Him, for He knows what is ahead.

There are things about tomorrow, that I don't seem to understand!

But I know Who holds tomorrow, and I know Who holds my hand!"

Proverbs 24:14 says, "Know that wisdom is thus for your soul; If you find it, then there will be a future, and your hope will not be cut off."

There is wisdom in trusting God for our futures, in Him there is Hope for the future!

Are you asking God to reveal Himself and His will to you?  I pray for His guidance in my life, for I have NO idea what lies ahead, but I trust Him completely to know what is best for me.

Dear Father, I come to You now as humbly as I  know how asking You for forgiveness of my sins.  In physical pain, I've been short-tempered with my family and I ask that You will constantly dwell in the forefront of my heart and mind so that I will treat them with the loving kindness that I should, as You do.  Lord I ask that You will lead my family in the way in which YOU would have us go.  Give us wisdom to seek Your will, and courage to follow it no matter what.  I think of Noah, and not only his willingness to do as You told him in building the ark, but his EAGERNESS.  I ask You to help me have that same willingness and eagerness in following You in the smallest of details in my life, and in the largest.  I love You, Abba, and I thank You for loving me and sending Your precious Son to die on the cross that I may spend eternity worshiping and rejoicing in Your presence.  In the sweet name of Jesus I pray, amen.

test pic for ShowMe! Fotos

Colorful Notions

As I begin sharing my thoughts here, I'm pondering the multiple aspects of life that I want to share:  marriage, motherhood, my walk with Christ, health, relationships.... well, you get the idea.  While I've always enjoyed vibrant colors (probably more than is normal) such as those found in rainbows and autumn forests and kaleidoscopes and tie-dyed fabrics, it didn't occur to me until a few weeks ago that it would be beneficial to me, as well as those depending on me, to color code my life.  

In this new-fangled technological age, a brilliant person invented, among many other useful things, the smart phone.  How I survived 39 years without my BlackBerry is now and will forever remain a mystery to me.  See, I have this symptom that affects my mental faculties in the most amusing, embarrassing and impractical ways.  You may be familiar with similar phenomena more commonly known as "brain farts" or "senior/blond moments", maybe even "pregnancy brain".  My fellow fibromyalgia sufferers know it best and often as "fibro fog", and at times it affects me in the most inopportune ways imaginable.  

For example, because I know you're now curious enough to want to understand, a few weeks ago there was a particular upcoming date that every time I thought of it or looked at my calendar, I just *knew* I had something to do on that day.  But there was absolutely nothing listed for the day in my BlackBerry calendar other than my weekly reminder to watch "Grey's Anatomy".  (Yes, I have to set reminders to watch TV.  It goes back to "fibro fog" and my nearly addictive reliance on my BlackBerry.)  

My mother, the owner of the world's sharpest living memory, had no idea why I had such a strong feeling of having an appointment that day.  My husband, bless him, the world's shortest living memory, had no idea.  Neither of my sons had a clue either, but that's normal.  

At some point in the week, I realized the date - Thursday, November 11 - was Veteran's Day so I tried to convince myself I was merely remembering Veteran's Day and that I really had no appointment and wasn't going to miss out on anything important.

Fast forward to 2:30am on the Tuesday morning following the 11th when, as i was falling asleep it hit me.  I had been to the doctor on Monday, November 8, when the nurse scheduled me for an appointment for a mammogram and ultrasound for ~ yep, you guessed it ~ November 11.  

When your mind is incapable of remembering you're worried because you found a lump in your breast, went to the doctor to have it checked, and was scheduled for a mammogram and ultrasound only 3 days later, you MIGHT have "fibro fog".  Turns out the lump was nothing to worry about, so I suppose it's good that I forgot to worry about it.

And here's the kicker:  now that I've finally reached the end of my example I mentioned several paragraphs back, I can no longer recall what I sat down to write about.  Colors, rainbows, leaves (which brings me to another thought ~ how my spiritual life is parallel to the lives of leaves), color-coding... oh YES, that's right.  I was going to tell you how I came to the conclusion that I need to color-code my BlackBerry calendar.  

• Red, the color of blood, is for medical appointments~ for myself, my sons, my husband, my parents, tests, procedures, doctor visits, etc..   
• Green, the color of money, is for financial obligations~ payment due dates, upcoming bills (like the once or twice a year variety), etc.   
• Blue, the color of facebook, is for social obligations~ lunch appointments with friends, family dinners, reunions, etc.   
• And purple, the final option considering my BlackBerry settings, and incidentally the color of fibromyalgia awareness, is for internet~ (where my fibro-friends live)~ reminders to check on flaring friends or to enter sweepstakes or take surveys, follow-up on prayer requests, and most recently to blog.

So now that I have this all figured out - ahem, it's my blog, no bubble bursting allowed! - I thought it might be helpful in combating my memory and fibro fogginess if I carry my color codes over to my blog where possible.  Red~ health related.  Green~ well I won't be giving financial advice, so I'm not sure what I'll do yet with green.  Blue~ relationship-related posts.  Purple~ for sharing great sites, blogs or deals... whatever I find on the internet that is worthy of sharing.

And now that it's taken me till nearly 5am to remember what I wanted to share and to actually type it out, I bid you good night.  Perhaps the fog will lift tomorrow, ahem~ later today, so that I can share something of more importance.  What was that one thing I was thinking of before....?  Something about colors, no.. color-coding...?  No, wait.  It was leaves~ something about leaves...  <let me go back and search through what I've typed in search of that um, whatever it is I was talking about looking for> ...  Oh yes, I want to share about the parallels between my spiritual life and leaves ~ and how the spiritual autumn is a time of dying to self in order to live for Him!  That was it! 

So friends, when I forget what I was going to blog about, feel free to remind me.  Not just this time, but every time.  Please.

My youngest son and me